Let’s be clear. A bit blunt. Call them gated communities. Retirement villages. Sheltered accommodation. It matters not. I’ve seen all the advertising slogans. "The care you’ve earned. The freedom you deserve". Utter tosh. Truth is, these are places you go to die. Draining the life force from you the moment you enter. Fit pull cords in my bathroom and I’m gone.
Ah, you may say, what’s the problem? Those sort of institutions, en suite open prisons, are years off. Not in Australia. Open to the over 50s. Marketed as such. Eligible in just eight years. True, I’ve had a few bouts of travellers diarrhoea on this venture. But nothing that’d have me marked down as incontinent. Not whilst I have my strength.
